the other night while i was napping i dreamt that there was an earthquake and i ended up breaking both my legs somehow.  i am lying helpless on the ground when suddenly kanye west appears out of nowhere.  he asks me if im alright and carries me to what in the dream (not in real life) is my pal meagan’s house, and immediately and expertly puts each of my legs in a cast.  he makes sure im ok, then goes on to rescue more earthquake victims.  god bless you dream kanye

Tags: celebrity disaster injury

i was with a group of people and luca and someone was like “luca did you ever tell chelsea about the hamburger coffee” and they were like “OH YEAH I NEVER DID!”  so they tell me

it like cuts to them when they were younger with like a bunch of kids who were related to them and their mom and whoeveer on a road trip in a camper trailer thing.  they had stopped at a weird distant uncles house just to hang out but weird stuff started happening so they were like “uh we’re leaving” but uncle came out to say goodbye.  the only thing he could say was “woohoohoo, woohohoohoohohohehehhooo!!!!” 

eventualyl luca’s mom is like I’M THIRSTY! I WANT SOMETHING TO DRINK BEFORE WE LEAVE! and right at that moment the aunt calls out in a weird guttural backwards-sounding voice that she made coffee.  mom like runs in but luca is like MOM NO THESE PEOPLE ARE SO WEIRD so they run in after her.  we hear mom scream and glass shattering and luca runs out panting and says “they put ROTTING HAMBURGER IN THE COFFEE!!”  mom jumps into the van/trailer/thing and they slam on the gas and skedaddle out of there

Tags: gross luca travelling

my parents threw a party forr pokemon and bought the big starter plushes for my brother and me and idk some random kid and my mom like, buried them under something for transportation, and by the time we got to where the party was going to be they were all bloody like they had been crushed to death. what the hell

Tags: pokemon death

i smoked TONS of weed, pantsless, in my friends bed, and watched her play a videogame about a team of very large acrobats.

Tags: drugs friends game nudity

i was drawing someone a velociraptor i think it was someone who didnt like the idea of feathery dinosaurs but i was like “heh heh ill draw them a REAL velociraptor”
but i kept drawing its hands wrong, even though i know how they’re supposed to look i kept drawing them unfeathered and pronated even and i kept erasing them and drawing them with all the same mistakes and i just kept imagining luca and all the dinosaur bloggers i follow standing over my shoulder and scoffing at me
it felt like one of those dreams where youre taking a test in school and suddenly youre naked but way stupider

went to some waste processing facility and there was a big vat of some kind of toxic sludge and the people there were like “go on grab a cup of it” and they gave us those little cups like you put ketchup into at fast food places so i just went and scooped some up and got a tiny bit on my fingers.  and they were like “chelsea you fucking IDIOT you were supposed to use TONGS now you’re going to get disgusting growths on your fingers!!!!!”  and i was really scared but throughout the course of the dream i just got dry skin on the spots it touched me.

between that and the next part of the dream was just some fuzzy generic school stuff bu then we went on this field trip to a nature park thing with a little stream and there was a birds nest in the bough of a pine tree that had been woven into a cone shape.  when we looked inside the nest the birds turned into KITTENS!!! then we got icecream at beal’s

Tags: hands school

i did a random online pokebattle with someone and then got an email saying YOUR BATTLE WAS SO GOOD WERE GOING TO USE IT IN THE SHOW!!! and i was like Wow Cool.  then i was in the car with my dad driving to the doctor and we were driving there thru all this countryside and it made me sleepy so i fell asleep and Double Dreamed about the pokemon battle.  a really swanky luxray caused blackouts all over japan because his electric attacks were so hardcore.  when i woke up in the dream my whole family was in the car with me along with a little baby lamb named Toes, and we were going camping.

Tags: pokemon dream in dream traveling dad

TOFU!!! TOFU FILLS MY FRIDGE.  IT’S BEEN FERMENTING IN THERE FOR WEEKS.  IT IS DISGUSTING.  IT SMELLS WORSE THAN I IMAGINE HOW STINKY TOFU MUST.  THERE ARE BUGS IN IT AND IT’S JUST A GIANT BRICK OF TOFU ALL FUSED AND MELTED TOGETHER WITH BUGS AND MOLD IN IT AND TOFU JUICE AND ITS SO GROSS.  ITS SO GROSS.  I CANNOT ESCAPE.  WHY DID I DREAM ABOUT THIS

Tags: gross bugs food

I HAVENT DREAMT and REMEMBERED my dreams in a long time, ive been just grabbing my phone to record them but i seem to forget them immediately after waking up lately.  poop!!

anyway, last night i kept getting this weird awful feeling that someone was behind me and squeezing my entire body!  it wasn’t exactly sleep paralysis because i could at least thrash around and struggle but snapping out of the feeling felt the same as when i snap out of a bout of sleep paralysis.  after it had happened a few times i started playing nujabes quietly on my phone and it didn’t happen again.  god bless nujabes 

i had fallen asleep between my alarms and immediately dreamed that i was in class but there was a really big snowstorm and my teacher was going home early because of it.  but then my dad was there and meagan and i tried to explain homestuck to him or something.  also, homestuck had updated and the black queen/snowman/whoever was wearing a towel and lying saucily on a giant frying pan

Tags: homestuck weather school dad


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